Kind Regards for Self and Others

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It’s also the conclusion of the American Library Association’s Banned Books Week when you learn that outrageous writings like Harry Potter (irreligious) and James and the Giant Peach (socially offensive) are among the long list of books banned by some American schools and libraries. What do these both have in common? Bullies – a subject very much on my mind.

Let’s start with school kids. My nine year old nephew had a bully in his class. Or more accurately, a bully and his two-member posse. In order to provide adoration and do their bidding, a bully usually needs sidekicks. The bigger the bully, the bigger the posse. Think Genghis Khan. Think poor old England’s King George whose bullying led to the founding of our country. Anyway, the bully's parents evidently attributed their son's behavior to nothing more than "boys being boys." While it took several months for school officials to figure out there was something odd about kids coming in from recess with sprained ankles and other assorted mishaps, they eventually came to a different conclusion about that "boys being boys" concept. But when they approached the bully's parents, the father, an attorney, refused to accept the evidence and responded in his own bullying way. Good to remember that bullies are raised, not born.

Now it seems to me that bullies have existed since the beginning of time starting with that snake in the Garden of Eden that bullied Adam and Eve into taking a bite of that apple. I can't think of any major women bullies, but I'm sure there must be some. Women, after all, are the "fairer sex" and have practiced the more "genteel" kind of bullying known as "managing" their servants and slaves. And the rise of girl gangs and female suicide bombers makes me think women are probably doing their best to break even this glass ceiling.

In fact, it seems to me that we are seeing a distinct spike in bullyism at the moment. Insurance companies bully their customers by raising premiums and cutting services. Wall Street seems to bully just about everyone. Special interest groups bully politicians who, in turn, bully the people who elected them by putting their constituents’ needs behind special interest demands. Men fly airplanes into buildings to make a point or take television station employees hostage because they don’t agree with the programming. And on and on and on.

Former President Theodore Roosevelt’s “speak softly and carry a big stick” was inspiring at the time. Now we seem to have devolved into “scream loudly and use your stick whenever you can.” Where does it end? Perhaps the answer lies in Kind Regards for Self AND Others, rather than just Kind Self Regards ONLY.

Kind (Self) Regards to all,

Vicki



Vicki Wray lives in North Stamford, and until recently spent most of her waking hours in New York City as a corporate communications executive. Working for companies like Pfizer, Revlon and AOL Time Warner has allowed her to meet wonderful colleagues and a slew of interesting personalities including the president of the United States, supermodels and star athletes, famous artists and a Justice of the Supreme Court. She is a natural observer, type A personality, and a life-long "spa junkie". Vicki firmly believes in the health benefits of being kind to oneself; taking a moment to breath, relax and finding simple joy in our every day existence.

Her column, Kind (self) Regards, will be a regular feature of the Aetheria Spa blog. If you enjoy her point of view, or would like to share your ideas, please contact her at vicki@aetheriaspa.com.