As a contestant in the Miss Connecticut USA pageant, I’ve been asked a hundred times why on earth I’d ever compete in an event as shallow and dated as a beauty pageant. Growing up, I was a studious musician who began learning classical piano at the age of 3, and I attended Tulane University on a full scholarship. I’ve been told by various acquaintances that I don’t fit the beauty queen mold because I have substance and intelligence. Pageant contestants did nothing but wish for world peace while batting their eyelashes.I'll be honest- there was a time when I held onto many of these stereotypes that I now constantly try to dispel. What I’ve learned is that beauty queens are very different than what people picture, and I fit into the pageant world more than anyone knew.
I entered a pageant for the first time at the age of 11. I scoffed at an ad for a local pageant with a talent competition and pointed it out to my mother. She saw right through my devious little ploy and entered me in the competition, figuring the experience would help me feel less shy about performing piano in front of large audiences. I was a very quiet, timid child who felt her heart race every time a school teacher called on her. I didn't win the pageant, but I did win the talent competition for my piano performance and felt both proud of my achievement and surprised by how much I wanted to compete again.
It wasn't until more than a decade had passed when I decided to re-enter the world of pageants, this time through the well-known Miss USA system, at the age of 23. After spending four years as the only female Computer Science major in my class at Tulane, I needed something light, fun, and girly, and a beauty pageant was all three.
The Miss USA competition consists of only three phases of competition - swimsuit, evening gown, and interview. Easy enough, I figured. I made a goal to lose 10lbs for the swimsuit competition and did what most people would do - exercised a little more and ate a little less. It was neither terribly difficult nor taxing on my schedule, and I figured everyone else was doing the same.
When I arrived at the pageant, I was stunned by the amount of preparation some of these girls had put in. One of the frontrunners had the most incredible, toned body I had ever seen in person - the product of exercising for close to 2 hours a day. She had all the confidence in the world as a result. I learned that she not only graduated from college a semester early, but also volunteered for a charitable organization and worked full-time as an accountant. Typical dumb beauty pageant contestant? Absolutely not.
The eventual winner was an incredibly poised, intelligent, and confident young lady with a love of politics. She had managed to juggle her last semester of college with preparing for the pageant. These women were neither frivolous nor simple-minded; they were accomplished, driven, and smart. I felt proud to compete with them and decided that my little venture with pageants was not over.
I returned the very next year. This time around, I, too, spent the 2 hours a day exercising, and met with a personal trainer monthly. I conquered my fear of the "scary man-weight area," as I liked to call it, and lifted weights to tone my body. I began eating 6 small meals a day, rather than 3 large, metabolism-killing meals. To prepare for the interview competition, I had everyone I knew ask me current event questions, and I thought about what my goals were for this pageant. I fully committed myself, and as a result, improved dramatically, placing 2nd runner up.
Competing on stage was thrilling and invigorating, and boosted my confidence. The most amazing part of that weekend was losing the nervous little butterflies that had plagued me for years in classes and performing piano for an audience. As a top 5 finalist, you are asked a question on stage in the spotlight, and, as is constantly shown on national television, some girls really choke on their answers. I managed to answer my on-stage questions flawlessly, and I still look back on that competition feeling proud that I was able to do this without being sick to my stomach. I couldn't wait to go through the whole process all over again. I felt I had it in me to not only improve, but win.
Now, I am 26 and have one more chance to capture the title. I still live in North Haven and work full-time in New York City, with a two and half hour commute each way. My schedule is even more rigorous, as I began a daily regimen of running at 5 am, and often sacrifice my lunch breaks to lift weights at the gym. I've worked 20 weekends in addition to my full-time job to save money for a beautiful gown.
I plan and cook my meals in advance, and fill our office refrigerator with chicken, fish, and vegetables that I eat at my desk throughout the day as I work. My co-workers often joke about how I would be the only person on the floor to survive a natural disaster, with all of the food I keep around me.I can't help but reflect on who I have become through these experiences. The difference between myself now and 4 years ago is glaring. I am no longer the insecure, shy girl who indifferently wore t-shirts, jeans, and flip flops every day to class at Tulane. I am now strong, independent, and confident in myself, and can walk miles in high heels. I know my goals, my strengths, and my limitations, and believe in putting in old-fashioned hard work for attaining what you want in life. I'm not ashamed to say that these traits were developed and strengthened by my experience with pageants.
This is just my story, and I am by no means alone in the pageant world. While preparing for such a competition does require you to spend a copious amount of time focusing on yourself, I don't think this is necessarily bad for young women. Preparing for the interview competition forces you to organize your goals and be able to express yourself positively. The confidence you build speaking on stage in front of an audience is especially helpful in the professional world, when you are in high-pressure situations and need to articulate your thoughts clearly and effectively. The level of self-discipline required to prepare for a swimsuit competition is astounding, and the tips you learn on how to live a healthy lifestyle can be applied for the rest of your life.
Even the more trivial parts of competition - learning how to do your hair and makeup - provide women with the ability to both feel and look put-together and ready to tackle the world. Though we like to say that we shouldn't judge a book by its cover, we still comb our hair and put on business suits for job interviews when we are trying to impress potential employers. I have met many more intelligent, driven, and beautiful young women in the Miss Connecticut USA pageant than bird-brained, plastic Barbie dolls. That is not to say there aren't any, but this is no different than any other field, with the definite exception of aerospace engineering.
And in true pageant fashion, I'd like to end this with a little thought on how to improve the world. Perhaps it really would be a better place if we looked a little deeper at the people we’ve pre-judged - even the contestants at your local Miss Mayflower County Fair.
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